What is a Bar Mitzvah?
In the UK today, a Bar Mitzvah (for boys, at age 13) and Bat Mitzvah (for girls, traditionally at 12, though some communities set it at 13) are widely recognised as both religious milestones and cultural celebrations within the Jewish community. Here’s how it is generally understood:
1. Religious / Spiritual Meaning
- Coming of age: At 13, a Jewish boy is considered responsible for his own religious obligations under Jewish law (mitzvot). For girls, this responsibility is marked at Bat Mitzvah. See below for details of my barmitvah pasha.
- Synagogue service: The Bar Mitzvah boy usually reads from the Torah scroll (the weekly portion, or parashah) during a Shabbat service.
- He may also chant the haftarah (prophetic reading) and lead parts of the prayers.
- Preparation: Children often spend a year or more learning Hebrew, Torah reading, blessings, and sometimes delivering a short speech (a d’var Torah) about their portion.
2. Family and Community Dimension
- Synagogue attendance: The family hosts or attends a special service at their synagogue, often followed by a kiddush (refreshments or light meal) for the congregation.
- Celebration: The occasion is usually marked with a party, ranging from a modest gathering to a large reception with food, music, and dancing.
- Gifts: Family and friends give presents, often religious items (like books, ritual objects), or money – but not wanted in my case.
- Photos from David’s First Bar Mitzvah
3. Variations Across the UK Jewish Spectrum
Cultural/communal emphasis: Even among less religious families, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is seen as a major rite of passage, often compared to a mix of a birthday, graduation, and confirmation.
Orthodox synagogues: Emphasis is on the religious obligations and synagogue service. Girls’ Bat Mitzvahs may be marked with a speech or presentation outside of the service.
Reform, Liberal, and Masorti synagogues: Girls have equal opportunities to read from the Torah, lead prayers, and take on visible synagogue roles.
2. Family and Community Dimension
- Synagogue attendance: The family hosts or attends a special service at their synagogue, often followed by a kiddush (refreshments or light meal) for the congregation.
- Celebration: The occasion is usually marked with a party, ranging from a modest gathering to a large reception with food, music, and dancing.
- Gifts: Family and friends give presents, often religious items (like books, ritual objects), or money given in multiples of 18 (chai, symbolising life).
3. Variations Across the UK Jewish Spectrum
- Orthodox synagogues: Emphasis is on the religious obligations and synagogue service. Girls’ Bat Mitzvahs may be marked with a speech or presentation outside of the service.
- Reform, Liberal, and Masorti synagogues: Girls have equal opportunities to read from the Torah, lead prayers, and take on visible synagogue roles.
- Cultural/communal emphasis: Even among less religious families, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is seen as a major rite of passage, often compared to a mix of a birthday, graduation, and confirmation.
4. Public understanding of a Bar Mitzvah
Outside the Jewish community, most people understand a Bar Mitzvah as:
- A Jewish “coming-of-age” ceremony.
- Something involving synagogue, Hebrew reading, and a big party.
- A key family milestone, somewhat comparable to Christian confirmations or milestone birthdays.
So why am I having another Bar Mitzvah – is not one more than enough!
Based on Biblical lifespan
- The Book of Psalms (90:10) says: “The span of our life is seventy years.”
- So, age 70 is seen as completing one full life cycle.
- Beginning a “second life cycle” at 70, some men celebrate a second Bar Mitzvah (13 + 70 = 83).
- At age 83, they may symbolically repeat the Bar Mitzvah ceremony.
So..well I had one at 70 and I do not want to chance it until I am 83!
Another reason:
2. Renewal of faith and gratitude
- It’s an opportunity for older men to mark longevity and good health,
3. How it looks in practice
- Usually at age 83 (sometimes also at 70, 80, or 90).
- The man may be called up to the Torah (aliyah), chant part of his Torah
- and share reflections with family and community.
- Families often host a modest celebration, though sometimes it’s as big as a first Bar Mitzvah.
- So that is it – I am celebrating my good fortune in having a loving family (two in fact) and being part of the very inclusive and wonderful Seven Hills Shull.
My Bar Mitzvah pasha or portion is from the book of Exodus (Shemot) Section Bo Parsha 5. My bar mitzvah was based on the Hebrew calendar as 8 Shevat 5719, which corresponded to 17 January 5719.
I am taking advantage of using the Chabad learning software Trop to help me re-learn my portion: